Young students talk about their experiences with divorce
Bhavisha Patel
Issue date: 4/30/09 Section: News
Nancy Relas and Kristine Mejia are 20-year-old business majors who have a lot in common. They both attend school and go to the gym regularly. But there's something that sets them apart from most people their age -- they're both divorced.
Relas married her middle school sweetheart at the age of 18, two weeks after her high school graduation.
"Everyone told us it was a bad idea, but we believed in our love and that's all that mattered," Relas said. "We thought it would last forever."
But six months after the wedding, Relas noticed things were changing.
"We got busy with life and hardly saw each other anymore," Relas said. "It got to the point where we saw each other right before bed and before we left for work in the morning. It became a dead relationship."
Relas isn't alone.
More than 40 percent of people who get married before the age of 20 end up divorced according to the Americans for Divorce Reform Web site.
Relas' marriage continued down a shaky path for two more months before they decided that they had a lot of growing up to do as individuals before they could grow together.
"There's something that every young person needs to get out of their system before they can commit to someone else," Relas said. "It's not that they need to go out and party, they just need to fully understand who they are before they attempt to get into a serious relationship."
Mejia's story ended in a different way.
"I was married for a year before I realized that it wasn't something I wanted at such a young age," Mejia said. "I was very much in love with a great person. That's all anyone could ask for, right?"
The problem was that Mejia's husband wasn't the one she was in love with.
"When I cheated on my husband, I realized that maybe it wasn't a good idea to be married anymore," Mejia said. "I love and miss him in my life, but I've grown from this experience."
Both women agreed that being young and divorced is a difficult experience.
"I never expected to be divorced at such a young age. I thought that marriage would be a one time thing for me," Relas said.
Although their relationships didn't work out, both women agreed that they've learned a lot about themselves in the process.
"I learned who I am inside," Relas said. "There's no greater wedding gift than that."
Relas married her middle school sweetheart at the age of 18, two weeks after her high school graduation.
"Everyone told us it was a bad idea, but we believed in our love and that's all that mattered," Relas said. "We thought it would last forever."
But six months after the wedding, Relas noticed things were changing.
"We got busy with life and hardly saw each other anymore," Relas said. "It got to the point where we saw each other right before bed and before we left for work in the morning. It became a dead relationship."
Relas isn't alone.
More than 40 percent of people who get married before the age of 20 end up divorced according to the Americans for Divorce Reform Web site.
Relas' marriage continued down a shaky path for two more months before they decided that they had a lot of growing up to do as individuals before they could grow together.
"There's something that every young person needs to get out of their system before they can commit to someone else," Relas said. "It's not that they need to go out and party, they just need to fully understand who they are before they attempt to get into a serious relationship."
Mejia's story ended in a different way.
"I was married for a year before I realized that it wasn't something I wanted at such a young age," Mejia said. "I was very much in love with a great person. That's all anyone could ask for, right?"
The problem was that Mejia's husband wasn't the one she was in love with.
"When I cheated on my husband, I realized that maybe it wasn't a good idea to be married anymore," Mejia said. "I love and miss him in my life, but I've grown from this experience."
Both women agreed that being young and divorced is a difficult experience.
"I never expected to be divorced at such a young age. I thought that marriage would be a one time thing for me," Relas said.
Although their relationships didn't work out, both women agreed that they've learned a lot about themselves in the process.
"I learned who I am inside," Relas said. "There's no greater wedding gift than that."
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Nancy Vang
posted 7/09/09 @ 6:05 PM PST
I understand where they are both coming from. I was married at age sixteen to my highschool sweetheart and four years and two kids later it didnt work out. (Continued…)
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